April 12, 2012
LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION

April 12, 2012

Sandra Epstein

163 South Church Rd.

Sacramento, CA 94203


Ms. Epstein,

Jeff Turner is an awful candidate for admission to Jensen College.

Within moments of meeting him, it is clear that Mr. Turner is a seedy character with uncouth intentions. As his supervisor, I have been able to observe Jeff at work in the kitchen here at Clancy’s Ale Haus. He has been caught stealing raw chicken on numerous occasions, often attempting to hide it in his pockets. When I confronted him about this, he fell silent for twenty seconds, then scream-quoted the bible (King James Version) and threw salt in my eyes.

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4:38pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZcBQMyJYX3AE
October 7, 2011
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

jessethorn:

The highlight of my career, so far.

Bootsy Collins: next week on The Sound of Young America.

Bootsy once replied to me on twitter, and it was the highlight of my twitter career.

4:49pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZcBQMyAOgmdv
(Notes: 34)
  
September 29, 2011
To elaborate

I typically consider myself to be someone on the cutting edge of internet trends. I was twittering before most of my friends thought it was cool, and I continue to do so even as more and more of them realize it’s not really that cool at all. 

Tumblr, however, eluded me. Despite having created this account a year or so ago, I never endeavored even to reblog a Fuck Yeah Something or Another or hilarious .gif file. Laziness is the most likely culprit here, though Tumblr does seem tailor-made for lazy bloggers. But fuck laziness anymore. Let’s do this. Let’s post some cat pictures.

So, here I go.

2:13am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZcBQMyA3iH0P
September 29, 2011
Tumblitude

This is a tumblog.

2:00am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZcBQMyA3hN6n
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